Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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