I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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