My room smells like vodka and shame
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize