member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
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I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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