Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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