On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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