Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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