I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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