The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize