too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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