No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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