moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize