David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
whose ass print is on the piano?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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