Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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