So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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