Me too!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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