Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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