yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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