it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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