i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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