You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize