would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize