True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he fucked my hip out of place.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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