i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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