I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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