you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize