Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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