what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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