can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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