i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize