C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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