she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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