Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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