I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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