Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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