GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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