I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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