I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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