i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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