Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
no, he came in my armpit
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize