my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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