come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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