"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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