So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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