the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize