I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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