but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize