Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize