You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize