I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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