i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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